So, here are some thoughts that have been on my mind today.
*I would kill to be with this guy in Texas, that I really miss. I'll be back for you bby~ ;3
*I hope that some plans I have made for Spring Break and Summer, follow through smoothly.
*This TV show is lame.
*I just got high.
*My throat hurts, and I need something to drink.
*That I have fucked up a lot, with a lot of people, and these days I'm just trying my hardest to keep everything ordered, and alright with everyone in my life.
*I wish this person on Facebook would reply. -_-
*I really don't know what else to say.
*I have a heavy heart right now, and there's a lot more stuff on my mind but I keep losing my thoughts.
I didn't really know what to write about right now. So sorry, that this is probably another boring blog I've written.
But, please, give me reviews/comments on how I have been doing so far, and if you have questions and what not.
Thanks. :)
~Stay beautiful.
~Megan.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Another, boring day...
So, today, wasn't a very productive day.
But I have been thinking a lot about the last two states I lived in recently...ish.
Colorado and Texas.
Two very different states, filled with different sites to be seen, and different people to meet.
Now, Texas, I didn't fancy much, and I still don't. But there were some super interesting moments there, and lots of great people, along with SHIT tons of not-so-great people. I got followed, by random ass old people, whistled at, yelled at, and hit on ALL the time, by just random people on the streets. Does that make you "macho" or "cool"? I'd say HELL TO THE NO. Have some fucking manners toward ladies. Jeesh. Some of the motherfuckers there, do nothing but fight. They act hard, and ghetto in Arlington. Which made me "hard". Granted, I didn't get in fights. (but I almost got in two) I got way more mouthy to my teachers, and enemies. I'm usually a pretty contained lady. But, Sam Houston High School got the best of me. There are 5 groups of people. Fighters, druggies, drinkers, skippers, and the group of kids, I like to call "stupid ass hoes". -_-
I had only a little group of close friends at the high school, and I am grateful, soooo damn grateful for them. I miss them. That's basically all I miss from that damn town. I'm glad to be gone.
Colorado...
I've had my mixed emotions about this state. When I left, in June to Texas, I expected life to be WAY better than the bullshit that I thought Colorado and Lewis Palmer High School was. I was SO wrong. Colorado, has honestly been the best state I've ever lived in. I had a lot of enemies there, but I also had a great wide variety of friends I met in my 8 years of living there. Some people I have kept close to me, still to this day, since 3rd grade. I cherish those two people.
Now, starting off, before I left Colorado, I was skipping school, and doing stupid things due to some rumors at school. I just didn't want to be there. I was in a manic depressive mode, for my whole 9th year grade. I was cutting, worse than ever everywhere I could think of to cut. I cried myself to sleep every night, so bad that sometimes in the morning I would wake up crying, to emotionally wrecked to go to school. Life sucked. I got picked on, called a whore, fat, ugly, stupid, reckless, worthless, cunt, bitch...all the names in the book. I was so close to attempting suicide 2 times. Not a lot of people know about this whole 9th year grade stuff. Nobody understood. I couldn't tell anyone, because I had no one. All my "friends" had turned against me after a break up with one of my exes. Because they were his friends too. I made dumb decisions, granted to put me in some of the situations I was put in, but people make mistakes. It got so bad, I would just stand up and leave class. Gone for a couple days, with no contact to anyone, locked up in my room at home. I was the most depressed I had ever been in my life. I didn't know what to do, or who I could go to. I dropped out of school. Big mistake on my part this year. Because guess what. I failed the second semester, and I am labeled as a Freshman, yet again this year. Ahhh the wonders. NO. I no longer skip, and haven't once this year. I have only missed 2 days of school, YAY me:3 And I get good grades now. (I just moved to Missouri though, so I am not in school yet here)
When I got the news that we were moving to Texas I was like "YES! Finally, I can get away from this fucking school, and these fucking dicks." But I have to tell you, I should of enjoyed it while I could of. I went through another bad breakup, 2 months before I had to move, and it put me even more down. I stayed home and slept all day. I had a few good memories the week before I moved, with some amazing friends. Of course, these were real friends. I always hung out with kids from the Springs, and kids older than me, out of school. Because >>>NEWS FLASH<<< I was actually mature for my age. And I really, always have been. I have never really liked kids my age much. But that got me into the drinking scene. Drinking every weekend, whenever possible. Getting as fucked up as I could, just so I could pass out and not remember that night. I wasn't in a great place.
Anyway, I miss a lot of my friends from Colorado, A LOT. I'm hoping that in 2 years, when I'm 18 I will have the means, and stability to move back.
Anyway. I guess I just had to let that out. My rough stories, but still missing the place I call home.
Colorado. Home is where the heart is.
Stay beautiful :)
~Megan
But I have been thinking a lot about the last two states I lived in recently...ish.
Colorado and Texas.
Two very different states, filled with different sites to be seen, and different people to meet.
Now, Texas, I didn't fancy much, and I still don't. But there were some super interesting moments there, and lots of great people, along with SHIT tons of not-so-great people. I got followed, by random ass old people, whistled at, yelled at, and hit on ALL the time, by just random people on the streets. Does that make you "macho" or "cool"? I'd say HELL TO THE NO. Have some fucking manners toward ladies. Jeesh. Some of the motherfuckers there, do nothing but fight. They act hard, and ghetto in Arlington. Which made me "hard". Granted, I didn't get in fights. (but I almost got in two) I got way more mouthy to my teachers, and enemies. I'm usually a pretty contained lady. But, Sam Houston High School got the best of me. There are 5 groups of people. Fighters, druggies, drinkers, skippers, and the group of kids, I like to call "stupid ass hoes". -_-
I had only a little group of close friends at the high school, and I am grateful, soooo damn grateful for them. I miss them. That's basically all I miss from that damn town. I'm glad to be gone.
Colorado...
I've had my mixed emotions about this state. When I left, in June to Texas, I expected life to be WAY better than the bullshit that I thought Colorado and Lewis Palmer High School was. I was SO wrong. Colorado, has honestly been the best state I've ever lived in. I had a lot of enemies there, but I also had a great wide variety of friends I met in my 8 years of living there. Some people I have kept close to me, still to this day, since 3rd grade. I cherish those two people.
Now, starting off, before I left Colorado, I was skipping school, and doing stupid things due to some rumors at school. I just didn't want to be there. I was in a manic depressive mode, for my whole 9th year grade. I was cutting, worse than ever everywhere I could think of to cut. I cried myself to sleep every night, so bad that sometimes in the morning I would wake up crying, to emotionally wrecked to go to school. Life sucked. I got picked on, called a whore, fat, ugly, stupid, reckless, worthless, cunt, bitch...all the names in the book. I was so close to attempting suicide 2 times. Not a lot of people know about this whole 9th year grade stuff. Nobody understood. I couldn't tell anyone, because I had no one. All my "friends" had turned against me after a break up with one of my exes. Because they were his friends too. I made dumb decisions, granted to put me in some of the situations I was put in, but people make mistakes. It got so bad, I would just stand up and leave class. Gone for a couple days, with no contact to anyone, locked up in my room at home. I was the most depressed I had ever been in my life. I didn't know what to do, or who I could go to. I dropped out of school. Big mistake on my part this year. Because guess what. I failed the second semester, and I am labeled as a Freshman, yet again this year. Ahhh the wonders. NO. I no longer skip, and haven't once this year. I have only missed 2 days of school, YAY me:3 And I get good grades now. (I just moved to Missouri though, so I am not in school yet here)
When I got the news that we were moving to Texas I was like "YES! Finally, I can get away from this fucking school, and these fucking dicks." But I have to tell you, I should of enjoyed it while I could of. I went through another bad breakup, 2 months before I had to move, and it put me even more down. I stayed home and slept all day. I had a few good memories the week before I moved, with some amazing friends. Of course, these were real friends. I always hung out with kids from the Springs, and kids older than me, out of school. Because >>>NEWS FLASH<<< I was actually mature for my age. And I really, always have been. I have never really liked kids my age much. But that got me into the drinking scene. Drinking every weekend, whenever possible. Getting as fucked up as I could, just so I could pass out and not remember that night. I wasn't in a great place.
Anyway, I miss a lot of my friends from Colorado, A LOT. I'm hoping that in 2 years, when I'm 18 I will have the means, and stability to move back.
Anyway. I guess I just had to let that out. My rough stories, but still missing the place I call home.
Colorado. Home is where the heart is.
Stay beautiful :)
~Megan
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Thursday, February 9th, 5:13 pm
So, I'm trying to motivate myself on writing this, right now. Because it seems like far to much for me to do right now. Because, I'm high. Now a lot of you know I get high, and I do things "like that". But, that doesn't mean I'm stupid, illiterate, dumb, druggie..ect. Some of the few words I've been called for, getting high, and drinking sometimes. Now, with that, you also get called school stupid. Like, what the fuck? I go to school, and I get good grades. Just because I smoke, doesn't mean I don't do good in school, or that I'm "to stupid" for school because weed ruins your life. Well, let me tell you, I get along just fine. A's and B's in school...I'd say I'd know what I'm doing. I don't go to school high, ever, never have, never will. I do this shit on my own time, in the safety of family, or friends. I never go out to places high, I stay inside. So, in other words, I don't go out and try to do crazy stunts, and shit. I don't have very many crazy being high stories, either. I've never really done anything stupid while high. It's like 5:21 now, and I still don't feel to have enough written down. I guess my point is, that just because I smoke, and drink, doesn't make me a failure student, daughter, or friend. I always stay inside, safe. Around people I trust. I've never once got caught, or in trouble. I play it safe. Safety isn't stupid.
That's all for today.
~Megan
That's all for today.
~Megan
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